Tearless
by Japanese Butterfly
Summary: Gilbert wasn't ready for this, for Matthew to one day leave him. It wasn't his idea, but the biggest question is still to come. Is it all in his head? If so, what parts are real? He's been dating Matthew for too long, but if this is the end, there isn't much left to do, but cry.


**AN: So I wrote this a while ago when I felt kind of off. I first wrote this with my girlfriend and I as the characters and one of my friends. GF: MoJo-TsuneniToEien and F: animeexorcist 99 both great writers and oblivious to the fact I wrote this (I'm sorry you guys!). I decided to turn this into a PruCan as they fit the scene best, and I do hope you enjoy this as it was my second most painful story to write (the other I haven't let posted yet). **

Fiery-red eyes blurred as he reached for his lover, fingers barely brushing fabric before the other jerks away from him.

"Don't do this…Please…don't leave me."

Blue eyes mixed with light lavender refuse to even look at him, he knows it over.

Mistakes are all he makes, never getting things right, taking it over the top, and never acting the way he should. Maybe this is what he deserves, for finally getting close; swearing _he _was the one, but still scared of the unknown that he tries to hide under a mask of smiles.

"Matthew, don't."

He's desperate now, forcing himself to move, and catch a glimpse of the eyes that he has grown to become entranced by. Ones that always lit up when his lover was happy, they seemed so dull now in comparison to how they used to. When they had last lit up in front of Gilbert, Gilbert hadn't caused them to, someone else had.

"Leave, Gilbert. Just leave me alone. You can't do anything right. I thought you made me happy, but you couldn't even do _that_ right."

The problem was that it was the truth and Gilbert stood frozen as the one thing in his life that made him believe there was something worth giving up his dreams for, left with words that hurt more than any slap could.

He didn't go after him; he couldn't force the blond to stay, to suffer. Was it all a lie, though? Was Matthew ever happy? He didn't know.

His phone rings and he answers, Antonio on the phone.

"Hey, guess what I just got?"

Antonio expected an enthusiastic answer, a tumble of eager guesses and questions, Gilbert just couldn't give that type of response.

"Sorry, I don't know… What did you get?"

His voice sounded void of emotion, and it was. He was emotionless, unable to cry as the best thing ever left him an internal mess. Sure, in the long run he'd manage some tears and would become a mess of puffy eyes and a runny nose, but he wasn't ready for that. Ready to admit that there would be no more kisses, I love you's, staying up till late just talking, snuck phone calls, and teasing touches. There would be no more Matthew.

"Gil, are you…okay?"

"Why can't I cry, Antonio? When _Vati _shuts off my phone, _Mutter_ gets into a car accident, and for small stupid reasons, I cry, but when it really matters most, I don't. Why is that?"

Gilbert is met with silence and he runs his free hand through his hair, looking at the sky to remember blue eyes that lit up, and who they belonged too.

"What happened?"

"I lost him, the one person who knew everything about me, I lost him."

He wants to cry so badly, but the tears won't come, not even with the verbal affirmative of what just occurred.

"Matthew? Why?"

"I couldn't make him happy, I made too many mistakes and I f-ed up."

"I'm sorry"

Gilbert shakes her head, and hollowly laughs; there isn't any reason for him to say that. Matthew always deserved better, and Gilbert was the one to always mess up and hurt Matthew.

"Don't be. _Gott _knows I messed up. The only thing I ever did right was let him walk away. He'll be able to find someone better now."

"You can't just let him go! You won't be happy like that. You-"

"Yeah Toni, but who wouldn't be happy if I forced him to stay? I'd rather him be happy then have him believe he has to stay with me. "

Antonio groans and the silver-blonde shook his head at his best friend.

"Gilbert, Gilbert, Gilllllbert."

He jerks and stares at his blonde friend, realizing it was all in her head. Matthew hadn't left him, but the what-if's left him feeling numb to the world around him.

"What?"

"Nothing, mon ami. I just wanted to tell you Toni and I will be leaving, now."

And with that, his friend runs off, leaving Gilbert to sitting alone in his brother's basement and the constant worrying that there was a _VERY _bad reason for his boyfriend to be ignoring his texts. It was all in his head, though. It had always been.


End file.
